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Livin in a lie

Get up in the mornin, look in the mirror and tell myself, Iím fine. Hide my tears, cause Iím so broken inside. Workin harder then I should, just to forget how I feel. Workin longer then I should, just to stay away from home, where my memories at. Iím so tired to play allright, Iím so tired to fool myself. Wont you come to me at night, hurtin and hurtin me again? Begin for ya, cryin for ya. All you did was lie to me. Wearin a mask, doin a show, nothingís true. I was preserving my heart in a chest, so no one can hurt me, see my disease. No one should see, how I really suffer. No one should see, how strange I am. How irrational my mind is. Hide my little world, cause they would call it the damnation. But you were so close to me, cause we are the same. It hurts so much, it destroys me. You ainít the first, who bring me tears, but you are the first who read my scars. And now you left my dieing, without saying a word. I got more inside of me, youíll ever know and I pray so hard, it will be me in the end. How should I life with you, care for you for all my life. Only love can turn in this kind of hate and it burns us till the end of our lifetime.
21.9.09 21:13


FŁr die Liebe meines Lebens

Als ich Dich das erste Mal sah, da war es mir sofort klar, du bist der eine, der einzige für mich. Du sagtest mir: "Ich liebe Dich." Mein Leben war erfüllt von Elend und Misstrauen, doch Du hast mich geleitet, auf bessere Bahnen. Zum ersten Mal wusste ich was Liebe ist. Es gab einen Sinn den ich in meinem Leben fand, der in diesen Tagen einfach so aus meinem Leben verschwand. Nie mehr werde ich einen Menschen lieben können, denn mein Herz ist erfroren ein eiskaltes brennen. Es ist ein Schmerz, der mich innerlich zerfrisst, es waren Tausend Tränen die ich um Dich weinte, doch es ist wie es ist. Du bist für mich der eine, doch für dich bin ich nur irgendeine. Ich gehe durch die Hölle und Du hörst ihn nicht, meinen lautlosen Schrei. Du lebst dein Leben, wie es dir gefällt. Ob dies auch für mich ein Leben ist, lässt dich dabei kalt. Was du dabei vergisst ist, du bist mein Leben, ob du nun willst oder nicht. Wie viele Lügen, Wie viele Tränen, Wie viele verletzende Worte, wie oft enttäuscht und doch bin ich geblieben. Meinen Stolz habe ich verloren, doch die Hoffnung blieb. Vergebens, denn in deiner Welt ist nur Platz für dich. Ein Leben ohne Dich ist wie ein Toter durch die Welt zu gehen, doch das Leben muss weitergehen auch ohne Dich. Darum möchte ich Dir sagen auch wenn Du’s nicht verstehst, für die Ewigkeit werd ich Dich lieben, doch es ist Zeit zu gehen.
21.9.09 21:09


I close my eyes and all I see is your face†
I can feel your breath in my neck, your hands on my skin
My heart is beatin faster and my head feels like stoned
Your lips begin to discoverin, my body scream your name
It takes my breath and I begin to cry

You gave me these wings and pushed me to fly
You promised, you catch me if I should ever fall
Now youíre gone and there is no one here to rescue me
My wings are broken and Iím crashin to the ground
Even if I lay six feet under, my heart wonít stop beatin, cause it only beats for you.

My love for you is endless and youíre a part of me
Today I love you like the first day we kissed
Every moment we shared, Iíll never forget
Iím your slave and I canít live without you, no way
Iím not ready to give up everything we have
And only death can separate me from you

I never wanted to hurt you, but the life was never my friend. The darkness eatin me from inside and no one can rescue, itís to late
I know, I did everything wrong. But tell me, what I can do to make it right
I know, itís not easy to love me, but I will change everything I am, so I become what you need
I donít know what to say or what to do, to bring you back in this life. Teach me your rules baby and Iíll make everything you say But please: Donít leave...

I close my eyes and all I see is your face
I can feel your breath in my neck, your hands on my skin
My heart is beatin faster and my head feels like stoned
Your lips begin to discoverin, my body scream your name
It takes my breath and I begin to cry
Donít let this be my last memories and take me in your arms. All I want is fallow you and hear your heart beat again. I never thought that love can hurt this way, but life is a teacher and we'll never stop to learn.

4.10.07 03:58


Got a father who went into the light and left we in the dark.
Got a mother, a runaway girl and the drugs break her apart.
We got a liar, who destroy the rest of family I've got.

Oh sometimes I don't know who I am. Oh sometimes I don't know where to go. Sometimes I'm so alone, sometimes I feel so lost.

Who's gonna dry my tears, when the shadows of the past erase my faith? Who's gonna catch my fall when the wold is tearin apart? Who's gonna safe my mind when the demons playin me?

In the moment it's you, who safe me. But how long you'll be there?
3.10.07 12:24


Only the darkness shared the tears with me and I was so dead inside my bizarre world of heartache, till the day you stepped in my life with your light. Now, life canít hold me down, cause I can look up at all. Pain is just a shadow in my heart and someday, there will be nothing left of it. The fog wonít fade away and the memories of pain still holing on me, but Iím strong. Donít ever worry about me; Iíll never crumble as long youíll be there.

From everything I love, itís you, who I need. Of all tears I cried, only the tears for you will matter in the end. Of all the ghosts who can cut me, itís your pretty appearance whoíll be the one who can cut me deepest and can left a wound without healing till my last day arrives.

If you feel down, your world starts to crumble and your faith begin to fade, a bitter side effect of life all people like us going through, just hold on me. If the darkness around you, try to catch, let me give you the light to see, like you did before for me.

I open myself for you, let you see the ruins of my black heart. I told you everything about my dark childhood and all you did was listen and your love heal so much.
You said, that I was down so many times, but I never gave up, I always held on.
The only reason, I can take everything how it comes, is the vision of a better life. Without sufferin, without shadows, without my demons....
2.10.07 17:13

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